


How to break a boy

by where_shadow_plays



Series: Cold Hearts [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Flirting, Hurt/Comfort, Mixed feelings, Negan (Walking Dead) is an automatic warning, Psychological Torture, Spoilers, Violence, mature language, spoiler for season 7 ep3, strong lanuage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-11 13:57:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10466610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/where_shadow_plays/pseuds/where_shadow_plays
Summary: Alice is ready to protect what she cares about with her life and when she sees Daryl as a threat, he becomes her no.1 enemy, but what will happen when his story brings out to many painful memories to life and when hate and compassion become entwined.





	1. Who am I?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so this is second story of my Cold Hearts series, hope you like it.You really don’t have to read the 1st one to follow this but they are kind of connected to it is all up to you. It will be 3 chapt long. Next one if on Friday or next Monday the latest, maybe I will even post second and third on the same day.  
> I really, really have to apologies to Daryl’s fans for this chapter, I love him to the bone, and writing this did make me feel bad, but hey, what must be done must be done.  
> WARNING: Strong language  
> DISCLAMER:This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.  
> NOTE: Enlish is not my 1st language so pleae if you see any error let me know so I can fix them.  
> Thank you and enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For millions of years flowers have been producing thorns. For millions of years sheep have been eating them all the same. And it's not serious, trying to understand why flowers go to such trouble to produce thorns that are good for nothing? It's not important, the war between the sheep and the flowers? It's no more serious and more important than the numbers that fat red gentleman is adding up? Suppose I happen to know a unique flower, one that exists nowhere in the world except on my planet, one that a little sheep can wipe out in a single bite one morning, just like that, without even realizing what he'd doing - that isn't important? If someone loves a flower of which just one example exists among all the millions and millions of stars, that's enough to make him happy when he looks at the stars. He tells himself 'My flower's up there somewhere...' But if the sheep eats the flower, then for him it's as if, suddenly, all the stars went out. And that isn't important?” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Three days have passed since she came to Sanctuary, she was at Negan`s side whenever he would leave his room, it didn't matter what he was doing, she quietly fallowed him around, they had their breakfast together while during the dinner she would join the rest of the crew, listening to their stories about the day they had, she heard few people referring to her as Negan's watch dog from day one, she just let that one slide, they will get accustom to her with time and even if they don't, well, fuck them, she is there to stay. It was strange for her to even think she was on her own less than a week ago, like the past two years were just a bad dream and she finally woke up from coma and her long lost family was at her side.

"Hey, there little psycho, why are you on your own, where is the boss?" Simone approached her while she was sitting on a bench in a courtyard eating her sandwich.

"He was up for some noon fuck and no matter how much I insist he doesn't let me watch, I think his wives don't like the idea."

Simon chuckle at that "can't imagine why."

"You and me both man, you and me both.", she shrugged her shoulder while taking a large bite of her sandwich and offered a bite to Simon. "Want some?"

"Nah, you eat, you need to get some meat on those bones."

"Are you calling me bony, mustache man?"

"Never, but you know some extra curves can never hurt."

"It all leads to the same place man, it doesn't matter with what you lure your victims.", she told him with distanced voice, it was strange to sit there and just talk like that, peace was unsettling.

"Are you bored already?" , Simon broke the silence.

"A little, yeah, I am not used to not running for my life, hell I didn't kill anything for three days now, that must be some kind of personal record or something."

"You are going to Alexandria soon, hopefully, you won't have to kill anyone there, but it will break the monotony."

"That's four days away man, I need to do something now."

"What about Arat?"

"Well aren't you a good friend, you pervert, no, she doesn't like my attitude."

"Wow! That is surprising, seeing how charming you are."

"I know right." The sound of her radio interrupted them, it was Negan.

"Doll, I am done, be here in ten we have some spooking to do."

"Oh, I love it when you speak to me like that boss.", her smile widened and Simon could swear he saw a sparkle in her eyes, "Catch up with you latter mustache man?"

"That sounds like superhero title sweetie, are you flirting with me now?"

"No, I am the superhero and you are my sidekick and we are here to defend our home and look good while doing it."

"Why am I the sidekick, I was here first?"

"Pff, because I am the prettier one, man.", she winked at him and left.

She was right about to enter Negan's room when his newest wife, as she understood, was coming out, she was really pretty pocket size girl, long dark hair, tanned skin, big doe eyes, her name as Misha, she scanned Alice from head to toe, looking up at her and viciously smirking.

"So the watchdog is back?"

"What, we have a dog now? Oh, how exciting" , she was bouncing and giggling, "I hope it's a female so we have at least one useful bitch running around."  
Woman's face fell, Alice couldn't help but gloat, she didn't care what his wives thought about her or what people say behind her back but she will not let anyone insult her to her face.

"Alice, doll, be nice.", the deep voice cut through tension building up, Alice turned around and saw Negan leaning on the door frame with amused smiled on his face.

"Yes, boss, I will play nicely.", she made the same face she used on her kindergarten teachers deceiving them that she will behave, only it didn't work on him, but at least his smile became bigger. She knew he heard this entire conversation deciding to ignore it, trusting she can handle it nicely on her own, nicely enough anyway, Misha rolled her eyes and left them.

"Really doll, your tongue is poison.", he told her while going back to his room to get Lucile, with her at his tail.

"That is only useful skill this tongue has, ok I am lying, not only, but you refuse to let me show you other ones.", Negan smiled but ignored this comment, it was like this between them ever since she came, these little banters they had were like vacation to him.

"Ok, I need to find Dwight and see how he`s doing with our new guest and I need you to take care of Daryl while I and Dwighy boy have a little one on one."

"And when do I get to spook someone?'

"Doll, you already did that with one of my wives, isn't that enough for one day?"

"Oh, boss, it is not even close." he shook his head in defeat "what will I do with you?"

He shook his head in defeat, "what will I do with you?"

"Well, I have few suggestions if you are at loss."

They found Dwight and Daryl in a hallway, Daryl looked worst for wear than the last time she saw him, he didn't have any shoes, wearing some washed-out brown suit with letter A on it, his hands and legs were chained, he looked exhausted. She felt sorry for him, she knew a thing or two about feeling guilty for loosing people you love, that is why she knew Dwight won't break him, he will either run away or die trying, there is no way he will ever work with them and she was ok with that because she could never trust him being close to Negan.

Daryl took a seat on a chair placed across one of the empty bedrooms with Alice holding him on point with her gun, she hated that thing but for stuff like this is was better than a bow, she saw him scanning the room in front of him, while Negan and Dwight were talking few feet away.

"This one is nicer than mine, I am jealous, they tell me it is to be appointed to you if you change your mind."

"I won't change my mind."

"I don't really fucking care if you do or if you don't, as long as you keep your paws away from Negan we are cool man."

"You know I will kill him?", he told her with a menacing voice and with that every feeling of compassion towards the man was gone, he saw it as well, they way her body tensed at his threat and the way she changed her posture, she was now leaning closer to him, shielding Negan from his view.

"I know you will try and I know you will fail.", he looked up at her, her face was bare, she didn't wear her face shield or sunglasses much inside the compound, she leaned even closer to him holding the gun close to his chest.

"I will tell you what will happen if you ever become so fucking stupid to even try something like that. Now I recommend you listen very carefully, I won't repeat myself. You will come to kill him and if you are lucky I will be there and I will gut you or even luckier and you will kill me first, if I am not there and with some miracle you succeed in your intent, I will find you, kill everyone you hold dear and then disappear for a few years, then I will come back to find you again and again kill everyone close to you, you found in a meantime ,fuck, I will kill them even if they are just passing by at that moment, making you suffer will be my new purpose in life."  
Daryl's eyes were on the ground now, he didn't look up at her, she felt an arm locking around her waist and pulling her closer, making her lower her gun, Negan's face was now inches away from her ear.

"Hope you two had a nice talk.", he laughed, tickling her with his breath.

"Oh, I think it was very productive.", Alice retorted, still looking at Daryl, Dwight came and was about to grab him by his sleeve when he stood up on his own and started walking towards his cell.

"Ta-ta, see you soon Daryl" Negan called for him, escorting them with the sounds of his laugher.

"I thought I had a natural talent for annoying people doll, but I left you one second with Daryl and he almost hugged Dwight when we came back, damn impressive."

She was leaning on the wall of Negan's office later that day, while he and Simon were discussing their plans for new recruits and outposts, they were over thirty people short and they need to replenish their numbers fast, she would usually listen to them, but today she couldn't concentrate, thinking about Daryl's words, biting her nails, she kicked that habit long ago but somehow it was resurfacing again. What if he tried something while she wasn't around will he succeed? The notion made her sick.

"What's wrong, doll?" Negan's voice brought her back to reality, she turned her face to where he and Simon were sitting

"Nothing.", she told him while rubbing her forehead, she lied to him, not wanting to discuss something like that while other people were around. Negan gestured for Simon to leave and came closer to her, taking her by her hand and leading her to an empty sofa, she rested her elbows on her knees looking down at her hands, like the solution was written on them.

"Ok, what's wrong doll?"

She sighted, there is no reason for her not to tell him what`s on her mind, ok, there was plenty of reasons not to do that but she was incapable of keeping her mouth shut.  
"It's Daryl, I don't know man, I just don't feel at ease with him being here."

"Well I can't just fucking let him go, he is a spoil of war, and why do you worry, Dwight will break him, he will soon be one of us."

"He won't," she told him shaking her head, she felt him shifting and leaning into the sofa, while placing his hand on her back.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know a lot about the way mind works, when you spend as much time around shrinks as I did you pick up a thing or two, he won't bend the way you want him to bend man."

"And what do you want me to do?"  
She heard the anger in his voice, damn, she didn't want to undermine him, make him think that she is taking him for a fool or that he doesn't know what he is doing, she just wanted him to be safe.

"Nothing," she told him while turning her face to look him in the eyes, "fuck, there is nothing that can be done about it than to hope that Dwight will come thorough, shit, I hope he proves me wrong."  
She felt his hand going up and down her back, she leaned into the touch to get a better angle.

"If it's not up to you or me why do you worry?"

She smiled sadly leaning into the sofa beside him, rolling her face in his direction, "because, it is my job to worry about things like that."  
He was scanning her, taking a bit of her hair and tucking it behind her ear, "soon, I am planning a game of 'catch me if you can ', do you want to be the one leading it?"  
There was a sparkle in her eyes that made him smile, she looked like a child before opening a birthday present, she narrowed her eyes, biting the inside of her lower lip, like she was thinking will she do him a favor or not.

"Hmmm, well it depends. Will I enjoy it?"

"I know I will."

"Hahaha, you only think about your pleasure man, very well, your wish is my command boss."

* * *

Next morning she was woken up with Dwight banging at her door, she opened them wearing nothing but the shorts and a sports bra

"With Arat's warnings about the way you stroll around your room and open your doors I expected you to lack more clothing than that."

"Oh, sweet Arat, being concern about my modesty, I really have to find something nice for her."

"I don't think you are the one she is concern about."

"Wtf man, c`mon don't crush my hopes and dreams", she told him with a hurtful expression on her face while gesturing him to come in.

"So, it is 5 am, I really hope you have a hell of a good reason for waking me up at this hour, and no, just to see me is not good enough reason, I told that to Joseph and I am telling it to you."

"Haha, what Joseph was here?"

"Yes, yesterday morning, to give me a welcome gift, apparently he didn't want to give it to me when Negan was around so he thought it is better just to wake me up, for future reference it is not, he brought me a jar of peanut butter, he is really a nice guy, I should apologize to him, I wonder why I haven't seen him yesterday?"

"You are rambling again and he is probably hiding away from you, so anyway, Negan told me you are the one to talk to about today's plans."

"Really man, can't it wait?"

"No."

"Slave driver."

Later that day, they had code orange, someone decide to leave the compound without permission, no one knew why but Dwight decided that he will be the one to sort it out and Joseph was the one to take on his duties, Alice saw him nervously standing beside the bikes while Negan talked to some of the men about to leave to meet with people from Kingdom.

"Hey, Joseph." She came behind him, startling him, his face was red from the heat and he was breathing heavy, the day was so hot Alice decided not to wear anything beneath her jacket except baby pink bra she picked up a few months ago, just for a hell of it, it would be better solution to just leave the jacket and put on simple shirt, but that will have to wait, today her appearance mattered.

"Woohoo man, relax, I come in peace, I just came to apologize for the way I yelled at you that morning you came to my room."

"You, what?" He was confused, no one ever apologize for anything they say to him, looking down at him because of the way he looked, he was with them on their supply runs, he helped around the compound, he was at Negan's side a lot before Alice showed up and took his place, which he didn't mind at all, following that man around and playing his cover whenever he was on gunpoint was a responsibility he was never comfortable with but no matter what he did, he was never fast enough, never accurate enough so everyone treated him like a dead weight.

"It wasn't right to yell at you when you were only trying to be nice, so I am fucking sorry man, I just hate when people wake me up, you know, that's all, nothing personal. Are we cool?"

"Yeah, yeah, we are cool."

"Great," she winked at him, trying to get him to relax a bit.

"Alice doll, let's get going."

"Coming boss. Catch you later Joseph," she told him while jogging towards Negan.

"Yeah, cool, cool," he murmured, smiling at himself, closing his hand into a fist and making a hell yeah sound, like he was cheering himself up.

It was time for him to bring food to prisoner, he made a dog food sandwich, walking to the prison cell, he was whistling some tune that somehow got stuck in his head, while strutting around, like he just got lucky, several times in a row, thinking about how Alice smiled at him while opening the door of a cell where Daryl was, he gave him his plate with food and left not locking the door behind him.

Daryl heard the lock open, he expected to see Dwight but there was a large man standing outside the doorway, with curly hair and a beard, he was silently staring down at him, giving him a plate with his regular meal, he grabbed it and went back to his corner, expecting to hear a sound of locking door behind him but the sound never came, he slowly stood up and pressed his ear to the wood trying to recognize any sounds coming from the other side, there was nothing expect the heavy footsteps disappearing in the distance.

He slowly turned the lock and the door opened, he peeked outside just to make sure no one was there and took a run for it, he was in the middle of hallway when he felt a hand on his shoulder, his heart dropped, he violently turned around expecting to see smiling green eyes that came to fulfill a promise but instead of them he was greeted with big brown eyes, filled with tears and worry, it was Sherry standing there, looking up at him.

"Go back while you can, you know I did, whatever he's done to you there is more, there's always more."  
She told him with trembling voice, he was looking at her, trying to wager his choices, if he went back to the cell they win, if he tries to kill Negan without any weapons he will probably die before he even sees the man, if he tries to escape maybe just maybe he will get his chance to make things right and make up for his friends death, if something like that could ever be redeemed, so he decided to push forward, leaving the woman alone.

Finally, he saw a door with daylight coming through its cracks, he ran for it, opening them violently, he found himself outside the building, finally his lucky break, he saw a row of bikes parked right in front of him, he started checking them, trying to find a way to start one of them.

He was checking the last bike when he heard a whistle behind him, he turned around and saw a black figure standing on the other side of the courtyard slowly approaching him, it was when he recognized her, the woman from the woods, the one that now always follows Negan around, the one that threatened him. She was dressed in black with a hood around her head and face shield on her face, she was slowly approaching him playing with one of her damned knives, she even had her bow with her, probably ready to shoot anything too far away for her knives to reach…

"Tch, tch, tch, now aren't you a bad boy."  
She was now standing only two feet away from him, she tugged her shield down revealing her half smirking lips, then the doors around him opened, eight men came to courtyard making a circle around him with her standing inside of it. She slowly came even closer standing inches away from his face, just like Negan did, but his eyes revealed a spark of enjoyment while he pushed people around, and hers, her eyes were empty and dark, almost no sign of green in her irises, the same shade they had when he treated to kill Negan just the day before.

"But lucky for you, I love bad boys," she touched a tip of his nose with a blade of her knife , and with that her demeanor changed, it was frightening to see how she was able to shift from one extreme to another in matter of second, she rested her blade on his chest now, walking around him, making a thin line where blade touched the fabric.

"Damn it, I didn't see you properly before, shit, you are one good-looking bastard, I mean ignoring that dirt and that clothing," she said with flirtation tone in her voice, leaning into his ear from behind, "too bad you are not smarter, we could have so much fun together," she whispered, releasing seductive moan while placing a gentle kiss on his ear.

He saw a face of a man that brought him his food earlier turning red, with a jealous look in his eyes.

"Now tell me, bad boy, do you know who I am?" she laughed softly coming to stand in front of him, still playing with her knife, he didn't answer, she was leaning on her right foot, then straighten up, locking her hands behind her back.

"I think when a lady asks you a question it is only polite to answer and man you really should choose your battles better. Now, do you know who the fuck I am?!" her voice echoed through the compound.

Negan and Simon were leaning on one of the buildings, with a truck standing between them and the crowd, they could see everything that is going on, but to see them someone would have to know exactly where to look, Negan was smiling proudly to himself while watching the show.

"Damn Simon, I should make you a king of the world for stumbling on her."

"Pack of beer would work just fine boss."

"I will get you a whole fucking truck man."

Daryl was getting nervous, he didn't like to be played with, "I don't", he finally answered, she started clapping her hands, bouncing and laughing.

"Oh, I am so glad cat didn't get you tongue, you got me worried there for a second, so, bad boy, do you want to know who I am?"

She winked, now being so close to him their noses were almost touching she was watching him directly in the eyes while biting her lower lip.

"Shit, you look delicious," she moved away from him, "you are fucking distracting me man, that is a really cruel thing to do to such weak, weak, woman as myself," she paused for a moment, "but back to business in hand" she started to laugh like a little girl after that.  
"You get it, at hand" she turned around to look at the men surrounding them, making a jerking move with her hand, their expressions didn't change.

"No one? Really? Thought crowd." she puffed some air from her lungs, sweeping her forehead.

"So anyway, boy, I will tell you who I am because it is rude for me to know so much about you and you not to know one thing about the little old me"

She came in front of him, tips of their toes were touching, she grabbed him by his chin and made him look at her.

"I…. am ….Negan." and with that she violently let go of his face.

"You." she pointed her knife and the man standing on his side.

"Who are you?"

"Negan."

"Who are you?" she was now pointing at the man standing behind her.

"Negan."

"Who are we people?" she spread her arms, turning around.

"Negan." They all said at the same time, she laughed again.  
"See, pretty boy, we are all Negan, you don't have to see him, he sees you, he knows what you are doing, fuck, he even knows what kind of shit you dumped in the toilet this morning and this little show was to see did that little fact started to sink into that pretty head of yours, but I guess it did not." she said with a disappointed voice.

"I was actually sent here as an emissary, but I got carried away for a bit, you are just irresistible to be around, please accept my apologies. " she bowed with one hand resting on her chest.

"So you have three choices, one: puff we kill you and make you work like a dead man, two: you work for points, but really man you'd be better off as a dead man, and three, and man you will love this one, you work for Negan, no points needed, you live like a king, you get that pretty room we were looking at yesterday, fresh clothing and pretty new shoes and who know if you want maybe I will even give you a few late night visits. So what do you say?"

She was looking at him, his eyes were still glued to the ground, she leaned trying to make an eye contact with him but to no avail, she turned her back looking at the sky, like she was trying to decide what to do next, she lowered her head to the ground shaking it.

"Fuck this shit!" she turned around and in one swift moment threw her knife at him, it flew right over his shoulder and got stuck in one of the wooden pallets that were leaning on the wall, he didn't even flinch, she started to laugh in amusement.

"You didn't even flinch, oh boy, you have some balls, I love it! I think I am actually turned on now."

At that moment a loud whistling noise broke through the air, everyone turned around and saw Negan approaching them, with Lucile leaning on his shoulder, he came close to Alice and wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her to his side.

"Now, doll, were you playing around with people again? I send you to deliver a simple message and you scare a shit out of everyone around you."

"Oh, I got carried away, sorry boss but we were having so much fun." Negan smiled at her while placing a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Hell, who am I to stand in a way of fun of such a lovely creature, but I am getting a bit thirsty doll, think you can wrap it up, fast?" He now looked at Daryl

"Damn, man you look miserable, what did my doll do to you?"

"Oh nothing," she decided to reply instead of him, " I think the boys can handle the rest, see you soon, bad boy"  
She winked at him while Negan led her away from them, his hand still locked around her waist, he took the knife she threw few moments ago from the pallet and reached around her to put it in its place on her belt and getting rewarded with a kiss on a cheek and a smile that lighted her entire face.

He saw men closing the circle around him when one of them hit him in the face, he tried to defend himself, even managing to hit a few of them but he was heavily outnumbered and was down in a matter of seconds, they continued to beat him up until he lost his conscience. the next thing he remembers was waking up in his cell, with her laughter echoing in his ears. On the bright side at least the screams were gone.


	2. Give your name to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gives me strength to have somebody to fight for; I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill." ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the new chapter is out, I was thinking about publishing another one today because this one and the next one are meant to be one chapter, but I thought it would be too much so I split them up, but I am kinda behind with some stories so I am trying to buying myself some time.
> 
> DISCLAMER:This work of fiction is base on a story and character created by creators, producers, writers etc of "WALKING DEAD" TV series and the comic books, with exception of my few original characters. No money is being made and no copyright or infringement is intended.
> 
> Rated M: for violance and language

"Fuck, doll, you made me hard just watching you there." Negan was laughing, while pouring another glass of whiskey for him and Simon and coming to sit by Alice's side, resting his arm on her shoulders, Simon was on the sofa sitting across them with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Did you see my doll there? Throwing knife and making people piss themselves?" ,he asked Simon, not waiting for a reply, "Damn it, if I am not one lucky bastard when it comes to girls, first my sweet Lucile," he was looking at the baseball bat resting on the middle of the coffee table, "and now this doll here," he placed a kiss on her temple and stood up.  
"Damn it, I need to go fuck one of my wives now to get all this adrenaline out. You two feel like home and Alice doll please drink something, this was your day after all," and with that, he left them alone.

"Tell me, psycho, what made you so mad at Daryl?", Simone asked her.

"What makes you think I was mad at him? I just did what Negan told me to do," she asked him while walking to a bar and pouring a glass of Rum she saw sitting there.

"If you say so," he dropped his head looking at the now empty glass sitting on his lap, he heard her approaching for behind him, bringing a bottle of whiskey and filling the glass again. " Wait are you trying to get me drunk? If you want to use me, sweetie, all you need to do is ask."

Her laughter filled the room as she was sitting back in her seat, "oh, you are way out of my league mustache man, I know I don't stand a chance."

"C'mon Alice you don't look like someone who gives up that easily," he was taking a sip from his glass, it was all the time she needed to change her mood, her eyes darken, she wasn't looking at Simon anymore but scanning the table in front of her. Simon saw her change like this before, the first time when he met her in the woods, months ago, second time in the woods when she met Negan, third time today with Daryl and again now, it didn't seem natural for someone to change like that in less than a second and it scared him shitless, then she finally spoke.

"Yesterday, Daryl told me he will kill Negan. He was looking me in the eyes when he said that and he means it, Simon, he will try. There is no way in hell Dwight will change his mind. Hell, I don't even fucking know why is he trying. He told Negan he will do it but that my man is pure bullshit, Daryl is too strong to be broken like that. Today I did this to show him that I am there and that he will have to go through me to get to Negan. Thinking, if I scare him at least a bit he will think twice before even trying anything or if he sees me as a threat he will come after me first. I was not mad at him Simon, I feel sorry for him, hell I know the pain he is feeling and I am not talking about physical one, but today it didn't matter, it won't ever matter again, he wants to take something away from me and I will die before I let him do that."

Simone was silent for a moment, emptying his glass, he stood up, took the entire bottle of whiskey from a bar and brought it to the table, he took Alice's glass and filled it with brown liquid, he handed it to her, "here, have a real drink, you need it."

She raised her eyebrow at him, accepting the liquor and bringing it close to her lips, she felt burning sensation running down her throat, she loved whiskey, but didn't drink it too often, it was her dad's favorite drink and just smelling it would bring back too many painful memories.

"You know, Daryl is locked away? There is no way for him to escape. "

"Every lock has a key Simon and you said it yourself, you don't know who you can trust here. So I am deciding to trust no one."

"That is no way to live a life. You can't spend your days looking over your shoulders every second of your time."

"I can. I always did, even before this all went down. I trust you and I trust Negan but that's it, when I am around you I will try to relax, I promise, but outside, that is different thing man. I can't lose him because I was not careful enough, smart enough or fast enough. I can't let it happen again."

"What do you mean, again?"

"It doesn't matter man, not anymore," she told him while getting up and going to Negan bed to take her face shield she had thrown there when they got into the bedroom, but it wasn't there, she looked around trying to see if it was on the ground, but didn't manage to find it and then it hit her.

"That kinky bastard."

"What is it?", Simon was looking at her, he didn't quite pick up what she said.

"Nothing, nothing, I am going to change and take a quick shower. Be back in ten."

She couldn't find Arat or Simon that night during the dinner time, so she decided to go on her own, it is not like she doesn't have any friends there except the two of them, well, it was exactly how it was like. Alongside Negan, they were the only two people in the compound that weren't scared of her, she sometimes felt like people will start to kneel when they see her, giving how most of the time they actually did because she was at Negan's side. Going to the kitchen she heard a giggle coming from behind the corner, she wasn't the prying type and would ignore it all together but the laughter reminded her of one of Negan's wives and if he is there with her it is worth to know he left his quarters. As she came closer she saw that it was not Negan standing with Amber, but Mark, they were whispering something to each other. Alice couldn't hear a word they spoke, she was too far away and the noise from the kitchen was just too loud, so she decided that she will make her present known, clearing her throat.

Amber jumped on the spot turning around when she saw Alice her face became paper white, she looked like a ghost and Mark just shifted, locking his hands behind his back and straightening his posture, to make himself look taller and a bit more menacing.

"What do you want, watchdog? Negan is not here," he spoke, and Alice giggled like she always did when trying to scare someone. She slowly approached them, pulling one of her knives from her belt, she didn't want to use it, but she didn't take kindly on being threatened or insulted.

"Haven't you heard the news, boy, he is everywhere?", she came closer to Mark. "And something of his is here as well. Tell me, Amber, what are you doing here?", she was now looking at the blond woman.

"It is none of your business," Mark told her while stepping in front of Amber to shield her with his body.

"See, dear Mark, it is. Negan is supposed to be with his wives tonight and one of them is supposed to bring him his dinner up, seeing this beauty here I can only assume that was her job. Now let's try this again while I still have some patience left. Why are you Amber, not Mark, sneaking around dark corners when you are supposed to do doing something else? ", her voice was now hard, she is having enough of it and Amber sensed it.

"I...I... I was just asking Mark how my mother is doing and is he helping her around."

"Is that so?", Alice now crossed her arms looking at them suspiciously, she knew when she is being lied to and these two were the worst liars she has ever met.

"Why didn't you ask your mother? I mean she is right here in the compound. I just saw her half an hour ago. She actually asked me how you are doing. Funny thing that," she was now lying, she didn't have a clue how her mother looked like, she could be standing right there next to them for all she knew.

"I…I…", Amber didn't know what to say, she was afraid and lost while Mark was just standing there waiting for Alice to make her first move to give him an excuse to kill her, he was looking for that ever since she came out of the woods that night.

"Don't ever lie to me again. Now you and I will go and get that dinner for Negan and I will walk you up to his room. I don't ever want to see you sneaking around like this. Ever again! Do we have an agreement?"

"Who do you think you are?", Mark was now seeing red. Who does this woman think she is, she wasn't here for a week and already she is acting like a damn sheriff. Alice just raised her hand at him, showing him this is none of his business, Amber weakly nodded and started going to the kitchen with Alice at her tail, they got the food and started to walk to Negan's room, when they were close to the stairs Alice made her stop and look at her.

"I know you are here not because you want to but because you have to, for you mother, I get it family is important. But you made your sacrifice and that sacrifice comes with rules, rules you know better than I do. I see your side as I see Negan's as well. Rules are there for a reason, you remove them you get anarchy. Their existence has consequences just as their nonexistence would, make one exception for someone and you get a shit storm of other exceptions and before you know it everything goes to hell. I won't tell Negan what I saw tonight but one more slip and I won't keep my mouth shut. But know that I am not doing this for you or Mark, I don't give a fuck about the two of you, I am doing this for you mother, don't make me regret it because the reason I am keeping quiet can fast become means of revenge. Now go. "

Amber was up standing in front of Negan's door, when she gave a quick glance to Alice, who was still looking at her, she silently thanked her and disappeared into the room, after Alice heard Negan's voice she decided to go to her room, she lost her appetite somewhere along the way.

"Wake up doll, the sun is up and shining," Negan's voice brought her to the land of the living, she opened her eyes and saw him leaning over her bed, looking like the cat that swallowed the canary.

"Go away, mean man," she told him while covering her head with her blanket, she didn't sleep at all last night, thinking about the Amber and Mark and what she should do. She felt a hand grabbing her blanket and pulling it away from her, tossing it on the other side of the bedroom.

"Oh, c'mon boss, don't do that," she frantically tossed herself around the bed, still not getting up. She saw him placing Lucile on the table and coming to the foot of the bed and grabbing her by her ankles pulling her gently off the bed. She was on the ground in seconds, landing on her butt, she grabbed her pillow and tossed it towards the man while puffing her hair from her eyes.

"Very mature boss, very mature. How did you even get into my room?", she asked him while taking his hand to get up from the floor. He pulled her into his arms and locked them around her waist.

"You didn't lock the door. Did you expect someone doll?"

"Yeah, but you are like, what, seven hours late?"

"I didn't get the memo."

"Hm, damn those people at the post office, I always get stood up because of them. Anyway, boss, what are we doing today?", she asked while leaving his arms and going to her closet to get ready for the day. Looks like she will have to skip her morning shower.

"We need to see where our guest stands today, did he have some kind of fucking epiphany last night and then get ready, we are leaving for Alexandria tomorrow morning."

"Alexandria? Isn't it a bit early for that? I thought we are to leave in two days."

"Fuck it doll I just miss Rick-prick too much, my heart just can't stand it anymore," with that all her thought about Amber and Mark were gone, tomorrow she will finally leave these walls and see the world she somehow forgot existed for past few days.

She was standing in the corner of the room that was meant to be Daryl's, looking at Negan pacing from one side to another, swinging Lucile as he walked, they were waiting for Dwight and Daryl to come.

"This room is bigger than yours, doll," he broke the silence.

"Yes, it is, but not much, I like my room better."

"And why is that? They look the same to me, only this one is, well fucking bigger."

"Mine is closer to you."

"Oh, you know how to butter me up with words doll. That is one thing I love about you," he took her chin in his hand and run his thumb over her lips before softly kissing her forehead. At that moment the door opened and Dwight and Daryl came into the room, Dwight was scanning them confused with their interaction, like everyone who ever witnessed it more privately, while Daryl was looking down at the floor, she was starting to like that man more and more.

"Welcome, dear gentlemen, please do come in. Jesus, you look awful," Negan was now talking to Daryl. "Don't you worry, I'll get Carson to fix you all up. You thirsty? Alice doll, get him a glass of water and a straw, you know because of his lip," Negan told her while leaving her side and standing in the middle of the room. She brought a glass to Daryl, placing it slowly in his hand, making sure he got a good grip on it.

He looked at her, she saw a big nasty bruise beneath his eye, a drop of dried blood was coming from his nose and resting on swelling lips, the lower lip had a nasty cut on it, she knew Negan ordered his man to crack him up a bit but this looks more like breaking than cracking. She cocked her head at him with the expression of sadness on her face, she hated him for threats he had sent her way, but to think that bunch of grown up man bullied him and took pleasure in beating him up while he was outnumbered and down just filled her with rage. She turned around and took a sit in the armchair that was right behind Negan, crossing her legs, making herself comfortable, trying to keep a neutral face as she could.

"See this doll," Negan was pointing to the place she was sitting while talking to Daryl, "she came and she pushed her way to the top in a matter of minutes. She is one thought cookie and she would now give her life for me. Two days ago, she told me you told her that you will kill me, now that was a bad idea, really bad idea, I practically had to talk her out of killing you in your sleep, I am still not sure if is she convinced you should keep breathing. But hey, she will listen to me, even if she fucking doesn't like it, so I practically saved your life there. You can thank me later," Negan was now standing closer to Daryl. "See, I love people like that, loyal people and you my man can be one of them. Alright, maybe not like her, hell, she stepped up in a matter of minutes but hey look at Dwighty boy here. Things weren't always cool between us, see, I wanted to marry his sister-in-law, she needed meds and that shit is expensive, so I asked her to be my wife and I will take care of her because I am a stand-up guy. But no, he and his wife took her from me and in the process got her killed, then came back here and begged me for forgiveness. But hey, rules are rules and I was one wife short, I had to punish them, so his pretty wife, now ex-wife, told me she will marry me to make up for their mistake and to save his life. I thought about it for a while and then I married her, Dwighty-boy here got an iron, but kept his life and look at him now one of my top guys and we are totally cool. The point beeing, I think you can be that guy, I think you are ready to be that guy, all you got to do is answer one simple question correctly. Who are you?"

Alice tensed a bit at the story, she knew Sherry was Dwight's ex-wife but she didn't know all the details and that was one fucked up story, if someone who endured so much at Negan's hand can now be so loyal to him, maybe she was wrong about Daryl. She now turned her attention to him, he was looking at the ground, Negan was now in his face with Lucile between them

"What? Did cat get your tongue? I will ask you one more time. Who are you?".

Alice leaned on her elbows, the tension could be cut with a knife. She looked at Dwight who was glancing between her and Daryl.

"I am Daryl," he finally spoke, she got up in a matter of seconds, pulling out two of her knives from her belt, Dwight looked at the Daryl, speaking something to him she didn't quite catch.

"Hold on!", Negan made them freeze in the place. "It is cool people, he made his choice, ain't my problem he made a dumb ass choice"  
-

Dwight took Daryl to his cell, leaving Alice and Negan alone in the room, she was back in the chair while Negan was sitting at the foot of the bed, leaning his elbows on his knees while looking at the floor.

"You were right, doll, he will be thought nut to crack," he spoke to her while lifting his head and making their eyes lock. She stood up and came to the foot of the bed, kneeling in front him, she could see an expression of defeat all over his face and he was not a man who took it easily, she placed her hand on his cheek and slowly run her fingers through his beard.

"It is not over yet, you said it yourself he will be thought nut to crack, but crack it you most certainly will," he started laughing at this, placing his hand behind her neck and pulling her closer to place a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Damn it doll, why do you refuse to be my wife?", he asked her while pulling away from her.

"Then who would follow you around and make inappropriate remarks about your butt, and hey, if you think about it, we are practically like a real married couple, we don't even have sex with each other," he started to laugh more loudly now, laying himself on the bed. She stood up and came to at his side, placing her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat.

"Would you mind if I talked to Daryl later?"

"Why?"

"Well you know, maybe a different approach would be more fruitful and if not, at least I can see where he stands."

"Knock yourself out, doll."

"Thank you, Negan."


	3. false enemy, false friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A polite enemy is just as difficult to discredit, as a rude friend is to protect."- Bryant H. McGill

Alice was walking towards Daryl's prison cell with a tray of food, some bandages, and alcohol, Dwight met her halfway and led her to the cell.  
"I hope you know what you are doing," he told her while opening the door.  
The smell from the inside struck her, she had to take a few steps back, to clear her mind, placing her tray on a table she now ordered the guard to move it further away from the cell, shaking her head to prepare for another impact of smell she slowly stepped inside, looking like a man walking toward the execution. Inside she saw a puddle of puke on the floor and a photo laying right beside it, Daryl was in the corner, looking at her and Dwight, getting ready for whatever punishment they were there to deliver. Alice bent down and took a photo in her hand, looking at it and then at Dwight.

"What is this shit doing here?", she asked him with a low voice.  
"That is his punishment, he will have to look at what he had caused, that death there, it is all on him," Dwight told her loud enough so Daryl could hear him while pointing at the picture of the smashed head in her hand.  
He placed his hands on his hips and look up at her waiting for her reply, she was smiling weakly, shaking her head, then she took one large step towards him, pinning him to the door frame.

"How do you expect him to be one of us if this reminder of what WE have done is right here in front of him, feeding his hate?", Dwight was looking at her with a dumbstruck expression on his face.  
"I didn't expect you to be so fucking stupid. So either I was wrong about you or worst I was right and you are playing us all," she slipped the photo into the pocket of her jacket and gestured for him to go and leave her and Daryl alone.

She turned around looking at the man in the corner, slowly approaching him, she crouched beside him, offering her hand so he can get up, he was not sure what to do, shifting his eyes between her and the opened door.  
"Tch, tch, tch, don't even think about it, there are guards on every door and one in the hallway, c'mon man I am not that stupid to come here alone, but I come in peace, let's talk."

He took her hand and she guided him out and away from the cell, gesturing for him to sit on the chair placed on left side of the table while she called for the guard. The man that was looking out for him while Dwight was gone came with a confused look on this face, Alice was already sitting on the other chair across from him, looking up at the man.

"Joseph, be a dear, and get someone to clean that mess inside," was all she said before turning her full attention to Daryl ignoring the man still standing in front of them, he was looking at the pair for a moment longer and took his leave, murmuring something beneath his breath.

"Eat," she offered him a tray of food that contained sandwich full of fresh vegetables, scrambled eggs, some Juice, a bottle of water and an apple, "water is for you to keep, don't worry," she winked at him while widening her smile.  
Daryl was looking at her, not sure what to think, one moment she is ready to pushing him off the cliff, on the second one she will be the one holding his hand and pulling him up and after that, she will make him feel grateful for saving his life.  
"It is not poisoned man, if I wanted to kill you that is not how I would do it, I am more of a knife person."  
He looked at the tray, he didn't have a proper meal in days, then he looked at her and her smiling face while slowly picking up a sandwich and starting to eat. When he saw her reaching for one of her knives he flinched but she just brought it close to her hand and started cleaning her fingernails, not minding him for one second, leaving him to eat in peace.

It took ages for him to finish up his meal, she was quite during the whole time, only speaking when one man came to clean his cell. When he was done she stood up, dragging her chair to sit on his side of the table and making him turn his face to her. She poured some alcohol on the bandages she brought, running her hand through his hair to get it off his face so she can have a better look at it and started cleaning his wounds.

"You should cut that hair, how can you even see?"  
"How can you see?", he asked her while pointing at her long red hair that was now falling over her shoulder all the way down her waist.  
"Fair point," she smiled at him, going silent again for a few moments.

"I get it, you know? Why you did it, why you don't want to be one of us."  
He looked at her, she was not looking him in the eyes, focused on the wound on his lip, her eyes were sparkling, whatever she was thinking off was bringing her to the brink of tears.

"You do something you think is right and someone you care about gets hurt because you were stupid and incompetent. You go through life with people telling you that it is not your fault, but you know it is and there is no way someone will prove you wrong. Then the running starts, you run from everything you know, from family, from love, from sanity, trying to die, but you don't, someone else you love dies instead and somehow it is again your fault"

She took a pause, scanning his face, turning it around to see are there any wounds she missed, then she took a bottle of alcohol in her hand and started peeling the label, still not making an eye contact with him.  
"See man, I am telling you this because it is something that I experienced on my own, I ran, I ran for years, without any purpose, living to die. But guess what, God doesn't want people like you and me at his side, we are too fucked up for him and the Devil doesn't want us because we are too weak, so we don't die, we lose everyone we love but we don't die, life is our punishment, not death. When I first saw you two days ago I felt sorry for you, I knew everything that you have been going through, I saw myself in you, and then you told me you will kill Negan, only person that made me think living is not that fucking bad and in that second I hated you more than I hate every walker there is, I wanted to cut you up right there and feed you to the them," she chuckled, sweeping the tips of her fingers across her cheek, trying to stop single tear that escaped her.

"I still feel you men, your pain, the way you are broken, you are bringing all those old memories to life and making me feel human again. I know you won't be with us, no yet anyway, maybe with time, who knows time is a strange thing, " she shrugged her shoulders.

"Do you think you are a good person?" He finally spoke and that made her laugh  
"No man, there is no such thing as I good person anymore, just a bunch of hypocritical assholes claiming they are an exception."  
"Why are you telling me this?"  
"One day, if you continue this way, I will have to kill you and I don't want to do it, man, I really don't, but I won't flinch if it comes to that. You will be my first kill I never wanted to make and I am trying to avoid that happening altogether. You don't have to work for Negan, work for points, fuck, make a new life here, make something new, something better on the ashes of the old."

"You are saying this just to protect him."  
"Haha, you are really fucking stupid if you think he needs my protection, I am just a line of defense, annoying line but still just a line."  
"Why would I do it, they killed my friends."  
"And you kill theirs."  
"It is not the same."  
"Everything is the same man," she sighed, seeing this conversation is losing its point.  
"Listen if you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for your friends, don't lose someone else you love while trying to escape the ghosts from the past. We are going to Alexandria tomorrow and you are coming with us. Please don't make it harder on yourself than it already is," she kissed him on a cheek, calling for a guard to get him back into his cell.

Joseph came around the corner, grabbing Daryl by his sleeve and pushing him up from his chair, he tried to get out of man's grip when he raised his hand to hit him. Daryl closed his eyes waiting for a hit to come, he was too weak to defend himself, but it never came, he opened his eyes and saw Alice standing there holding the other man's hand.

"Don't you even fucking dare," Joseph was looking at her, confused by her reaction.  
"He..he resisted."  
"He did not fucking resist! How can someone resist if you didn't give him a chance to go on his own! Is it fun to bully someone weaker than you? Ha? Is it more fun to do that to someone who is stronger than you but incapacitated? Does that turn you on? ", she was now leaning closer to his face, looking him in the eyes, until his face fell and she claimed her victory.  
"I expected better from you Joseph, I will take him to his cell, you go back to whatever the fuck you are supposed to be doing"

When they came to the cell, it was clean and disinfected, as Alice requested, she gestured for him to get in.  
"I have asked them to let you use the shower, but it was deemed too risky, sorry, hope this helps," she tossed him freshly cleaned sweatpants same color as he was wearing and a pair of underwear.  
"Thank you."  
"No problem man, think about what we talked about. And yeah, you forgot this," she placed an apple and a bottle of water on the floor and closed the door locking it behind her.

She came back to Negan's room, he was sitting there with Simon, giving him assignments to be done while they were away. She just walked to the bar and took a bottle of Rum, filling half of a glass and drinking it in one sip.  
"Easy there doll, you are not a pirate," Negan called for her tapping a spot by his side as a gesture for her to sit, she was down by his side when he placed his arm on her hip moving her a bit closer to him.  
"Why is the Rum always gone?", she asked them while peeking in the now empty glass.  
"I am assuming the peace treaty didn't go well?", Negan asked her, she sighed, falling into the sofa and looking up at the ceiling.  
"I fixed what it could be fixed. He will probably work the fences."

"What could be fixed? What do you mean?", Simon now asked leaning closer to the table, she looked at him and then at Negan, both of them waiting for her to explain something she really didn't feel like explaining. Reaching inside of her pocket, she found a photo she took from Daryl's cell and threw it on the table, Simon was the first to take it before Negan violently took it from his hand and looked at it, while furrowing his eyebrows.

"Where did you find this?", Negan finally spoke.  
"Daryl's cell, right beside the puddle of puke."  
"Is that the...?", Simon asked her while pointing at the photo still at Negan's hand.  
"Yes, number two, Daryl's punishment."  
"Why is it not on the wall with the rest of them?"  
"Dwight took it from there, thinking he will break Daryl easier with it. Really, really wrong judgment. If nothing he now just hates us more."

Negan was silent, before giving a photo to Simon and telling him to pin it back on the wall, they finished up their meeting just on time for dinner. Alice stood up to follow Simon.  
"Alice doll, get some rest. I want you all perky and refreshed for tomorrow."  
"Will do boss," she gave his a smile and a military greeting, before closing the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with this story is done.Hope you liked it. :)  
> On Friday I am planning on starting a new one as a part three of Cold Hearts.


End file.
